yes! the tiger is out

doc-squash:

“They bond when they can.”

(via limonmelon)

i feel like the top post on this almost entirely defunct blog should be something other than anon passive-aggression, so here’s a quick montage from the last however many months it’s been! in order:

1. i have now been on T for a year and two days! here is how i looked a year and two days ago
2. here is how i look now! it’s very weird to think that these are both photos of my face, which is nominally the same face. it’s hard to remember having a face that looked any different than it does now. it’s strange that it’s hard to remember! it’s all very strange and that feels… comforting. yesterday was just another day in the rest of my life, which is nevertheless a drastic improvement on what it was before
3. at last i have a large visible tattoo! it only took… five other tattoos to get here
4. it will presumably surprise nobody that i, it turns out, love a good suit.
5. we got engaged! we are going to get married!
6. quite frequently i think about this with a combination of surprise and wonder. in all the time i spent thinking about the futures i might have, i never dreamed of one where everything would line up so perfectly — where i’d find a person i wanted to be with for the rest of my life, where i’d understand myself well enough to recognize and be certain of that, and where that person might somehow, unimaginably, inexplicably, feel the same way. i’m excited, and nervous, and very sure of this, in a way i’ve never been sure before.

anyway, that’s the quick version! the longer version: i got away from my family (finally) — i made it out. i have been spending a lot of time learning how to be a person, and gluing scattered bits of myself back together with gold. it has been a long, hard process, and it has taken a lot of horrible hard work, and it is presumably going to continue for the rest of my life — but sometimes now i can remember things from the long blank years i am missing, and sometimes i am once again able to exist in the here and now, no longer entirely severed from the past but not totally consumed by it, either.

also, i’m saving for top surgery and transition care! but i am also afraid every day of what will happen to my ability to access that care, living in a red state where i believe there is good and important work to be done, staring down the possibility that one day soon the government will declare that i may no longer be recognized as the person i know myself to be, and have no right to live the life i have worked so hard to build for myself. if you have the means to help or share, i appreciate anything and everything! and as always, thank you for being my family when i had none, for reading my periodic ramblings, and for sticking around all these years. i owe very much of myself, and my happiness, to you.

Anonymous asked: same anon as before, to clarify: was not talking about your transition

okay, anon! what are you talking about, then? my relationship? my geographic location? what life change are you so concerned about that it drives you to send me an anonymous message wherein you claim to know who i am better than i do, couching that condescension as concern?

if you actually want to have a conversation about whatever you’re implying, you’re going to have to do me the basic courtesy of specifying what exactly you find so worrying about my life choices — which have made me happier and healthier than ever before — and you’re going to have to do it off anon. put up or fuck off.

Anonymous asked: i know you probably won’t ever read this but i’m really worried about you and i hope you come back to yourself soon

hello, anon! i do actually read all the messages that come into my askbox, as it turns out! i read the start of this message and was like, “i’ve got a bad feeling about this.” and then i thought to myself, maybe you’re being too pessimistic, rowan, and this is actually a compassionate anon, like many of the other lovely folk who land in my askbox! so thank you for proving my initial impulsive assessment correct.

now, based on that, i’m also going to go with my initial guess that you’re talking about the fact that i’m a trans man. maybe i’m wrong! but i interact with a LOT of transphobia on a regular basis, and if i AM wrong, you might want to seriously reconsider your tone and approach to whatever the fuck you’re actually referencing before you send me a message clarifying that. but if i’m not wrong, it seriously sucks to be you, because i am more myself now than i ever was before, and that is never going to change. you can safely write me off as a lost cause, because i am doing the same for you, but without any of the concern you so patronizingly claim to feel.

have a lovely evening!

after what feels like a thousand years, but is probably more like eight, it is time to delete this app from my phone! i’ve had a wild and often wonderful time but my nipples and i just can’t be arsed to figure out how we present according to tumblr staff, and will be taking our rambling elsewhere. but i don’t want to lose touch with the people i’ve met here — you can find me over on twitter, my fic will remain on ao3, my professional portfolio is here, and if you really need to get in touch, you can always activate the last protocol and release a plague pigeon at midnight with a message tied to its leg and i’ll get in touch! in one last desperate bid to get something good out of this site, i’m also linking my ko-fi. i’m working on saving money to make my nipples a little less female-presenting, and if you’ve ever enjoyed my work and would like to throw me a few dollars towards that goal (or share this with someone who might) i’d really appreciate it! i think that’s all; you’ve been the best friends an order muppet could hope to have, and i’ll see you next recurrence ✨

bunjywunjy:

bloggoth:

bloggoth:

bloggoth:

bloggoth:

poor old granny scorpion-shoes. no one ever saw her death coming

it was pneumonia.

yes, her pet scorpion pneumonia, who lived in her shoe. tragic.

he shot her point blank

this reads like a Monty Python sketch

(via birb-boy)

And now a warning about drafts

bogleech:

You ever write up a post you decide will be too controversial or embarrassing but leave it in your drafts to sleep on and then forget about it? How about real personal stuff you weren’t sure you wanted to share at the time? Heavy-ass receipts on bad shit you’re leaving there only just in case you’re forced to use them?

Well if any of your drafts get flagged by the new system, a mod can apparently see them in with all your other flagged posts, and if they un-flag them, it publishes them automatically as a brand new post. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

(via newsbypostcard)